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 The Tattooed Millionaire's Chris Lord has once again updated the bands tour diary from their current US Tour which brings us up to July 19th.
JULY 16
"Fuckin' hicks, everyone in this
depressed backwater town" Johnny says, lighting up a smoke as he and I hoof it
to the truck parts store, in need of a starter solenoid. "You know, dude," I
say, "Every horror movie starts this way, the out of town kids talking shit
about the local hillbillies, and thirty minutes later they're hanging upon the
wall, with a garrote through their guts".
"Good point"
So we're in
the Middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania, when I wake up to commotion outside. I
leave the bus to see smoke coming off the batteries, Johnny desperately trying
to pull off the cables and the bus running, even though the keys aren't in the
ignition. We get the cables off (hopefully) before total electrical meltdown.
Ah, morning...
There happens to be a shop right next to where we
are and Bruce comes over to help diagnose the issue. Turns out the starter
solenoid is welded in the on position. He bypasses the starter to get us moving,
and we find a part store a half hour in the wrong direction. But Bruce breaks
the long tradition of mechanics who are cool to us. He itemizes a list of
charges for us, including testing, advising us on oil, batteries, even air for
our tires. We've been there fifteen minutes and he wants $155. Justin goes in to
bargain, and every burly worker in the shop stands around, looking tough. Justin
gets them down to $125, and we roll out of Worley's Truck Service, shakedown
merchants of Western PA. Johnny and I finish our hike to Truckco, Inc. We buy
the part and get to work installing it in their parking lot. We're done with
these fuckin' mechanics, we can do ourselves. We finish and ask the driver to
start it. I've never been less optimistic than I am at this moment, but it
starts! Fuck yeah! We can not be denied. Johnny and I share a greasy-fisted
pound, and we're on the road to Brooklyn.
JULY
19
If this journal seems to be too centered on bus breakdowns, it's
probably just 'cause I like to write by the side of the road when we're broken
down, and don't like to write when things kick into high gear, and everything
just becomes a blur of days...
The bus problems have been history for
days. This coincides with us hitting the east coast, where the drives are short,
and we have friends in every city. Pittsburgh, Brooklyn, Connecticut, Worcester,
Boston. Short drives and plenty of time to relax and unwind. New cables and
strings at the local Guitar Center. Hanging with Nick's family in Connecticut.
Free rehearsal rooms to work out new songs. Getting to the gigs, already
rockered out as we step off the bus, instead of being covered in engine grease.
The songs gain polish and intensity while on the road. Record labels are taking
notice and requesting meetings on our days off. Tour support is a possibility.
It feels like we've paid some hard dues early on, but things are definitely
going good.
I
would be remiss if I didn't throw out a shout to a bunch of people who have
really helped us out on this tour so far, especially those who have opened their
homes to us, fed us, did our laundry, wanted to hear the road stories, and what
they could do to help. There's Jim in Oklahoma, Adam and his family in Detroit,
Helen and Harvey in Chicago, Helen in Pittsburgh, Jim and Liz in Connecticut.
There's something about a band rolling into town from a long way away that
inspires people. Those we stay with often state they're coming with us, leaving
their home and working with us on the road. It's in jest, but there is something
there, where they want to leave their responsibilities and just take off, new
city every night, adventures, parties, fun.
Yesterday, everyone had
partied pretty hard the night before, and I was lucky we got on the road to
Boston before nightfall. Today, it's 10 am and we've already been riding for an
hour. New York is only 4 hours away, but mapquest is deceiving. If Mapquest says
6 hours, it's 9 in the bus. We roll slow n' low. The plan today is stop at a
truck stop on the way, get gas, food, showers and roll into Manhattan for a
photo shoot, looking good already. I've noticed photo shoots can be a great
motivator for some of the guys in the band to really move the travel along...
hah! As the navigator, I'm already envisioning the nightmare that parking this
bus in Manhattan is gonna be. We had great luck in Brooklyn on monday, parking
practically in front of the venue. Boston took a little time, but we got lucky
there too. I know there's gonna be a day where we wont be able to get near the
venue, and it's probably today. We'll work it out, we always do.
Tour stats (about halfway
through):
• Total states we've been through so far: 14 (though the
other guys went into Kentucky for food, too)
• States to go:
11
• Total drinks I've had to pay for at the bar: 0
• Bus
drivers so far: Dan, Dave, Johnny Jetson, Wade, Neil, Jessy
• Number
of bus drivers with drivers license restrictions or DUI: 3
• Previous
owners of our tour bus: Lynyrd Skynyrd '73-'75 (which we will verify when
we get to it's birthplace in Birmingham, AL)
• Times I've tuned up, mid-set:
0
• Miles we've travelled: approx. 4000, but would need to
calculate...
• All I've ever seen Nick ingest: Rockstar energy drinks,
cigarettes (and 1 corn dog)
• Approx. calories a day eaten, Johnny:
500-600
• Amount of sleep required, most to least: Justin, Nick,
Chris, Johnny
• Time spent getting fixed up, pre-show, most to least:
Justin, Nick, Johnny, Chris
• Times I've worn the same shirt on stage,
without dry cleaning: 8 (But, to be fair, I take it off like 3 songs
in)
• Times i plan on still wearing it until I can get it cleaned: 3
(sorry, ladies)
• Times a band member went onstage, sans eyeliner: 1,
Chris, Indianapolis (I forgot.)
• Times a band member cried like a sissy
girl 'cause their flat iron broke:0 (so far)
• People on bus with a
pair of black Chuck Taylor shoes: Chris, Justin, Nick, Johnny, Jessy
(let's hear it for individuality!)
• Shows we've played in a row where the
bassist in the opening band had a Ramones shirt on: 3
Chris
Lord
More photos of the tour have been posted here.Â
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